Be a better lover and please her with your enormous foot...

Ha! I could hear you pondering, wondering "Will the infamous Robot Monkey post another blog before the year ends? Will he continue any of the supposed ongoing columns, like 'Date Night' or 'The Best of... List'? Is it true his tears will heal a unicorn of flatulence?"

First, the answer to your last query...yes, they do. Also, they act as a unicorn aphrodisiac, which yes, is slightly disturbing.

Second, to your next question...undecided. I honestly am just gonna play how I feel. So, maybe.

And thirdly...well, you have answer, don't you? Oh snap.

Now that we have the formalities out of the way, on to the hilarity. Or as I like to call it, the insomnia killer. Yes, it's true. My brand of humor has been know to induce vomiting or sleeping, varying from person to person. Enjoy!

Well, I have had an interesting week last week. And when I say interesting, I mean boring. One of the highlights that I feel compelled to share is clearing out my junk email inbox. Normally, this is done with the minimal of paying attention to subject lines. I usually just look at the addresses, looking for legitimate emails that slip through the cracks. This past week (for whatever reason) I paid closer attention than I normally would have to the subject lines listed herein. I was rewarded with a menagerie of bizarre subjects to emails that I would never have believed. So without further ado, here are some of the subject lines I actually had in my junk email. No addresses or anything though since I'm not gonna give them free advertising. They are presented here, unedited with all punctuation, grammar and spelling left as is.

(Note: Some of these are sexual in nature and contain some adult language. Reader discretion advised.)








"Engorge her with your mansword"
"Have a much huger erection than she wants"
"Ass rimming the easy way"
"No white rabbit but gold is coming your way"
"Caution! A money opportunity!"
"Someday your prince will come"
"Enlarge your bust 3 times!!!"
"Kan you helps a man fellow?"
"What keeps you young? luving rabbit style!!!!"

And the award for most bizarre goes to...

"Hot latinas banged by Germans"

I'm sure my junk mail is no different than yours but usually I just scan it and don't really read it. Wow.

If we don't talk again before the holidays, Happy Christmas and A Valid New Year!

Shalom!