I think a Bangles reference regarding Mondays is too easy here...

It's Monday. I'm back at work after a week off. You know what's coming next. It is really hard to get back into the "swing of things", whatever the hell that means. But really, I am playing catch up with work emails, reading pertinent things, catching up on other websites, generally twiddling my proverbial thumbs. The long and the short of it? Don't expect an entry that will light the world on fire.

Perhaps the general malaise with which I approach my job or just the fact that I can't be bothered to muster up any energy for this poopfest of crappy fecal shitty waste of raw sewage I call a job (which doesn't make any sense whatsoever, I just wanted to throw in as many poop comments into my job description as was possible. Even if it meant making them up. And no, it's not really that bad.). Eh, it's probably both and that's as much analysis as I feel like putting into it.

And yes, if you must know, I did have a fine time off work. Did I do anything? No. I'm too poor for such shenanigans. I did however enjoy catching up on my DVR recordings, playing computer games (like WoW...yes, I'm one of those people), watching movies, going here and there and generally just doing as little as possible. I wish I could have actually traveled somewhere (I need to travel in the worst possible way...and no, I don't mean in the back of a Volkswagen.) but lack of funds prevented. Except I did travel, I guess. Into the realm of my mind. Let me tell you about it.

It was a magical place, full of rainbows and unicorns. There were dancing magical and multicolored little bears, a pot of gold, pixies dressed in the flora and fauna of the pleasant temperate zone, beautiful tree people handing out my favorite food. Foods like peanut butter and elk jerky and Crystal Pepsi. It was tasty and dare I say it, the food of the gods. I danced in a meadow with Orville Reddenbacher while he fed me his savory popcorn out of a golden bowl. We made replicas of Lincoln's Log Cabin out of pretzel sticks to honor President's Day. Because there, everyday was President's Day. And while the beautiful, buxom and barely clothed tree people bathed me, rubbed me with oils scented with cinnamon and fed me hot chocolate chip cookies and a large goblet of ice cold milk, I was struck with an epiphany. A moment of clarity. True knowledge flooded my senses. The secrets of the world and the universe opened before me, saturating my being with enlightenment. The simple perfection of it all caused me to pause, begin giggling a little bit and then collapse with a contented sigh back on the pile of fluffy throw pillows on which I reclined.

I thought, "I hate my fucking job."

Have a gloriously happy Monday!